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I just went to a career seminar held by the law school’s Career Development Center. I already knew that law firms couldn’t start recruiting 1Ls until after December 1st for summer positions. And I also knew that almost all of them go by our first semester grades, which do not get posted until mid-January. So I am in no hurry to do any career-related work at the moment. And considering that finals are less than a month away, it really should be the last thing on my mind.

All of this was basically reiterated at the seminar, but they did tell us that we should plan on working on cover letters and our resume over winter break. This did elicit a tear or two from me. I was SO looking forward to vegetating for an entire month, curled up on the couch reading delicious novels while sipping hot cocoa. I guess that dream shall never be. The other thing that made me cry? “Networking.”

Because jobs for 1Ls are few and far between, they encourage us to use any and all connections to find our own employment. And if we don’t have connections, we need to start making them. Nothing strikes fear into my heart faster than the mention of the word “networking.” (Okay, well maybe “cancer” or “terminal illness” or “tumor” would, but you get my drift.) I hate the idea of schmoozing with smarmy, greasy lawyer-types who get their teeth whitened weekly and who wear diamond-encrusted tie tacks. They smoke their pipes and wear crests on their jackets which fit well over their argyle sweater vests. They get their loafers shined daily and use entirely too much pomade in their thinning hair. They also smell of Aqua Velva. “Networking,” for me, conjures up images of Gollum-like old men with stinky-old-man-coffee-breath invading my space bubble. Or so I imagine…

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Just put a dinner jacket on this guy and a pipe in his mouth and you have my nightmare. I can smell him now.

I am not lacking social skills and I can converse on a professional level rather well. But I still dread the idea of walking up to a stranger and trying to strike up a conversation without blushing or making some other major faux pas. However, the speakers did inform us that if our grades are especially good, particularly our legal writing grade, we might have an easier time avoiding the networking. They also said that although many jobs for 1Ls do not pay all that well, some of the best jobs can pay as much as $3000 a week. A WEEK. That is way more than I have ever made before. The thought of making that much money, combined with the knowledge that I could avoid networking with gollums, just about made me shit my pants. I could pay for my entire tuition just from my summer salary!!

If that’s not incentive to study hard and do well, I don’t know what is… And I guess I don’t mind giving up my winter break for that kind of opportunity. I guess

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