I have officially had it. To make it easier to understand why, I shall utilize bullet points.

• I only work at the firm on THURSDAYS right now. I have told everyone in the damn firm 98309283 times. However, I still constantly get emails on Mondays, Fridays, Wednesdays, you name it. “Are you in? Can you stop by my office??” NO I AM NOT IN. I AM EITHER IN CLASS, AT MY INTERNSHIP, OR ROCKING BACK AND FORTH IN THE FETAL POSITION IN THE BATHTUB. But, because I am a pushover, I always email back and kindly explain that I am ONLY IN ON THURSDAYS. As stated 98309283 previously.
• After getting several frantic emails today (today being a TUESDAY, BTW), one is from the head bossman (I call him that because technically he hired me, and since I don’t really have a boss per se). It says, “Where is that insurance opinion memo–the clients are waiting for it.”  Oh, you mean the one I wrote TWO WEEKS AGO?? The one you acknowledged your receipt of via email? THAT MEMO??
• His email is followed by a frantic email from his secretary: “Where is that memo??”  I have to email back that I AM NOT IN THE OFFICE TODAY (it being a TUESDAY) and that it was sent TWO WEEKS AGO. I re-forwarded it and told them that if they are speaking of some other memo (since in my mind, that would make more sense than losing one I already sent to you and which is surely sitting both on your desk in print form and in your inbox in e-form), please let me know.
• I then get ANOTHER frantic email, dated yesterday. It says, “I need you to check out some books for me and I will be at the law school library today at 2 to pick them up from the desk.” IT IS SPRING FUCKING BREAK, LADY!! I DO NOT LIVE IN THE LIBRARY! Although that might save me a considerable amount of rent, I am not ALWAYS there. So no, I didn’t get you the books yesterday.
• I email her back… what might you need, attorney So-and-So? I am at my internship today, but perhaps I could swing by on my lunchbreak and pick them up for you? What’s that? You need an entire 10 volume, 10,000 page multi-volume treatise on legal malpractice? One that is not available for checkout because IT IS A MULTI VOLUME TREATISE?! And what’s that you say? You want me to therefore PHOTOCOPY IT FOR YOU?! Lady. Ma’am. You must be somewhat intelligent. You are a seasoned lawyer. How long do you think it would take me to photocopy 10,000 pages? You do know that you pay me $15/hour, right? So in 2 years from now, when I am finally done, I will be owed backpay of something like $60,000 just for making photocopies?
• Stick with me here, folks. So brilliant me. I look up all the legal malpractice treatises on Westlaw using my student account. I copy all the tables of contents for her. I email them to her and ask, “Which specifically would you like? I can download them and email them directly to you.”  She emails me back 23 chapters she wants. I begin downloading each, a huge pain in the ass, since each is OVER 200 PAGES LONG. I then begin emailing them to her, chapter by chapter.
• She responds: “Please open the files and print.”  MY HEAD EXPLODES. WHAT PART OF “I AM ONLY HERE ON THURSDAYS” DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?! Not to mention, do you REALLY want to go through 4 reams of paper for this!? REALLY?!!?!?!?

So here I am. Two fucking days into my SPRING BREAK, sitting on my couch downloading fucking legal malpractice treatises by the bookload. What am I not doing? Well, I am not at my internship, WHICH I NEED TO BE AT IN ORDER TO GET THE CREDITS I NEED TO GRADUATE. I am also not in fucking bed taking a nap, where I needed to be like, yesterday.

My apologies for all the caps locking. But I have slowly lost the ability to communicate in any other way.